Monthly Archives: February 2013

Friends

I had to travel for work this week and spent alot of time in the car. Whenever I get “car time”, I do alot of thinking. Today on my way home, I thought about how much my life has changed in the last 3 months since I left my husband. For the most part, the changes have been good. For one, I have never felt like I had closer girl friends then I do now. In the past, I had friends, but could never spend alot of time with them or confide in them like I can now or just spend one on one time with them. My STBX always seemed to get a little jealous of my girlfriend relationships and I had to be very careful. If I wanted to do something with a girlfriend, I typically got the guilt trip and his jealousy would come out.
However, recently, I’ve been able to call up a friend and say let’s get together for a quick glass of wine, or I’ve had a crummy day, can I stop by and talk, or I just bought this new “shirt”, can I show it to you, etc.
And, they feel free to do the same with me. It’s so nice to have close girlfriends again. I didn’t realize how much I missed that. Does it make up for not having someone to count on for everything? Not at all. Does it help? Definately.

Tomorrow is a New Day

quote

If I had a dollar for every time I said that to myself, I’d be rich! I love this quote. It’s a good reminder that each day is only 24 hours, and tomorrow there is a chance for a new start. While things may really weigh on you 1 day, it always amazing how refreshed 1 nights sleep can make you feel. It’s like while you are sleeping, God gives you the strength and some common sense to deal with whatever was dragging you down the previous day.

Girls Night In

Last weekend, a girlfriend and her daughter spent the night at my house with my daughters and a cousin.  We all had so much fun!  The girls ranged in age from 4 – 11. They had a spa night: Put makeup on each other, washed hair, got their hair braided, and put on a fashion show for us.  We all laughed so hard that night. It was nice being able to let loose at home and forget about all our worries, problems, stressors and just relax and have a fun Girls Night In!

spa night 2 spa night

1st Valentines Day/Weekend

Recently, I experienced my first Valentines Day as a single person. It went so much better than I thought it would. My parents invited me over for dinner (they are so wonderful). I also had to go to a Parents Forever Class (which my STBX also attended).  But all in all the day was good.
On Friday, 3 of my girl friends and I went to see Safe Haven. It was so good, but brought out lots of emotions. After the movie, I was really down and just wanted to be alone. I finally got home and received a text from a friend wondering how I was doing and how my first V day went alone. It made me not feel so down and alone.

It is so wonderful having great friends that reach out to you when you need it the most. I feel very fortunate to have such supportive friends and family. They all play a different role in my life and I am thankful for them all.

Another Snow Storm…but found the Positive:)

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One of my first Blog entries talked about the first snow fall that I had to shovel. I learned from that day. This past Sunday we received another 12 inches of snow. But, instead of me doing all the shoveling, I had my girls come and “help” me. We had a blast. They didn’t necessarily “help” me shovel, but they helped make it fun. We had snow ball fights, dumped snow on each other, laughed, danced, and even got the sleds out. We spent 2 hours outside together and had a blast! I can’t remember the last time I actually “played” in the snow. They made me feel like a kid again.

And, I was “unplugged” for 2 hours. However, I did have to get my phone so that I could take some pics and videos to share with friends and family.

snow

 

Feeling Violated through Technology

This post is going to be a little different than my usual posts. Since this is Blog is for my Identity in the 21st Century Class, I thought my experience last night would be fitting to share…
Last night, I was relaxing at home watching a movie. Of course, I had my phone right there with me. I had an incoming email, and when I checked it, it was from Amazon thanking me for my recent order of something I had not ordered. I quickly logged into my Amazon account to take a look. I was able to cancel the order and I also changed my password and deleted all of my credit card information.
At the same time I was doing that, there was something else running on my computer and my web cam was on. I was trying to exit out of everything and it wouldn’t let me. All of a suddent, a chat window popped up that said FBI in the upper left hand corner with a message that started as, Well Hello Miss Swenson. I freaked out. I shut my lap top off. I then checked my phone again for the email that i had received and it had vanished.
I’m not one that can leave things alone, so I booted up my laptop again & started to run a Virus Scan. The WebCam came on again and another chat window. The “chatter” started typing very explicit things. I covered the camera with a piece of paper and “chatter” typed, “Do you think that’s going to help”? I again shut my computer down.
I left it off all night, and didn’t get much sleep. This morning, I started it up again, but disconnected from the internet while I ran a complete Virus Scan, which took care of the issue.

It really freaked me out that someone could hack my account so easily and start chatting & watching me. I felt so violated. It was a good remindder that nothing is secure while we are online. Be very careful with your online accounts and keep a close eye on them.

Another Chapter Closed. Ready for the next!

We had my STBX Mother-in-Law’s funeral yesterday.  It was a very hard week and emotionally draining.  I woke up today thankful to have that chapter closed.  I not only mourned her death, but also the death of so many of my dreams for a “normal” life going forward. I got to speak to all of my STBX relatives.  I’m going to really miss some of them, but I know that we will also stay in touch through Facebook and emails.  They have been a part of my life for over 16 years and they adore my girls. They were all very kind to me during the last few days.  The last few days were good closure for that chapter.

Tonight, I’m getting ready for a girls night out that I’m hosting tomorrow night! I am so looking forward to it. It will be the first time I entertained in my home since the split.  It felt good to cook, clean, prep and get things set up again.  It feels “normal” to be able to do some of the things I love doing, but gave up for the last few years.  I’m so ready for this next chapter of my life, whatever it may bring.